Page 14 - Robeson Living Fall 2018

Adult Life Transitions:

Backpacks, Lunches,

and Getting to Class

On Time

By: Dr. Veronica L. Hardy

Carolyn recently shared with her husband, David, an in- tant communication between the two shows a slow increase.
terest in returning to school. After fifteen years since her
high school graduation, healthy marriage, and three beau- Carolyn and David are not the only married couple in so-
tiful children, she feels something is missing. As she toiled ciety who pursue significant life transitions with feelings
for several months, attempting to pinpoint what that “miss- of apprehension. A current call in society is to gain higher
ing” piece was, she recognized how her interest does not lie education in order to transition up the career ladder. In ad-
within her current job. Carolyn’s position at a law firm was dition, more people want to combine the themes of personal
the vehicle through which to sustain her family’s needs and interests and jobs that promote financial stability. Yet, during
to be a contributing member to society. Yet, her high-pres- this period of decision-making, it is critical for the couple to
sure role in a fast-paced office no longer lends itself to her consider the following three factors:
career motivations and desires. While David has expressed
complete support, he silently questions the impact this will 1. Steps to Maintain a Healthy Marriage
have on both finances and family. As the man of the house, As a couple explores the idea of higher education for either
he is willing to fulfill the societal view of the male role as the wife or the husband, it is important to maintain open
the “provider” without complaint. Yet, he struggles with communication. This involves periodic “check-ups” regard-
two concerns. The first concern is maintaining the finances ing the topic and considering your partner’s emotions and
while Carolyn locates part-time employment that will bal- concerns. As concerns are identified, the couple must ex-
ance with her school schedule. The second concern is how plore ways through which those concerns can be addressed
to express his apprehensions to Carolyn without sounding through a manner of respect. In communicating feelings of
unsupportive. Both Carolyn and David have private, un- apprehension, it is necessary to observe how you express
shared thoughts about this transition and the barrier of dis- your thoughts to your partner. Be aware of certain words